KG and Me

This is one of those random posts that I just felt like writing about. Enjoy or don't enjoy, the choice is yours.

Those of you who know me well know that Kevin Garnett has been my favorite player since he was drafted into the NBA back in 1995. I like him so much in fact that I root for the Celtics despite my dislike for Paul Pierce (who by the way is an "actress." Thanks for that great quote Q. Richardson.)

It is upsetting that The Big Ticket won't be on the floor for Game 2 against the Heat and I do not disagree with the ruling. Although most of the blame should be pointed at The Truth for being a baby. I am more focused on KG's critics riding him for being old and having to many miles on those long legs of his. In this regard I can relate to KG.

Don't get me wrong, I do not have analysts talking about how much my game has been lacking. Lets just say my game has been lacking since birth. I don't warrant any analysts or press time for my basketball skills.

I tend to model my game after KG. Hustle to the ball, rebound , high release on the jump shot, working the elbows and trying to play tough "D." I always leave KG's trash talking element out of my repertoire. Also, I tend to keep my elbows under control, but I have come to find out that I have razor blades for elbows. Now as I am beginning to turn the ripe age of 24 (yes 24 in Oct.) I feel the motor in me sputtering and the ladder getting shorter (for those not up to date on basketball lingo that means I can't jump as high as I used to). With that being said my mind is still able to keep up with the game, but it just forgets to let my body know that. I know I am not that old, but I still feel the affects.

KG and I respect the game and love to play it. We will play on despite what people say. On the court we will always help the team before anything else. For these reasons I can relate to KG and some people should give him a bit of a break. There are not to many 34 year olds that can play at that level.

To conclude this KG rant, I will always be a fan of The BIg Ticket and will always enjoy his game, but once he is gone I believe I will be off the Celtic bandwagon. Especially, if a Mr. Paul Pierce is still on the team.

Weight of the Wheelbarrow

I've had a couple brief moments of freedom this month. This was not a liberation from someone but more of a release from a heavy load. The weight that has been on my mind and heart has been the burden of stress.

Stress seems to be a common occurrence in my life and as my days go on the pressure and anxiety build. I worry about money constantly, I worry about the future often and I worry that I am not a responsible husband for my lovely wife.

At times I feel as if I am the village idiot pushing around a wheelbarrow with a flat tire and overflowing with heavy rocks. Each stone represents a stress and each day I struggle to drive the rusty old wheelbarrow, being ever careful not to spill one single pebble or bolder out of my cargo.

The wheelbarrow also doubles as my bed and when I lay my tired head down to bed my skull rests on the jagged edges of the rocks causing pain and strain. There are many sleepless nights thinking of what tomorrow will bring and the only time I have complete restful sleep is when I am exhausted from the days activities.

I don't have stress all day every day. I have experienced a great sense of relaxation this past week. Why you may ask? Well, the answer to finding peace in my heart and mind is in a solution that I have known for the longest time, but I always tend to lose the answer by trying to lift the weight all on my own.

Instead of fixing the stress on my own I simply let it go. I handed my entire wheelbarrow of rocks over to someone who can conquer these burdens. That someone is my Savior. Christ filled my heart and His presence was deeply felt in my life this past week. I have really missed that feeling in my life.

Matthew 11:28-29-
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls."

I forget that God can handle my problems with ease. I was actually able to fully enjoy time with my wife this past weekend and I was able to appreciate a simple and quiet night at home. Absolutely no worry about employment and bills.

This village idiot in me will tend to show up from time to time, but I pray that God continues to reveal His truths to me. I will continue to seek God and hopefully I receive more moments of freedom and get a break from the wheelbarrow.

God is in control and I am nothing without Him!

Thoughts from the past

The other night I came across this little entry that I had stored on my computer from this past summer. I wrote this entry during a stressful time in my life. During this period I was dealing with a whirlwind of school assignments and preparing myself to be a married man. After reading this I felt that it was a good reminder and I just wanted to share it for the purpose of accountability and possibly the offset chance of helping others.

SUMMER 2009

I feel there is a turning point in my life. Yes, I am getting married in less than two months, but that is not what I am talking about. I am trying to become a man.

Not just any man mind you. A different man, one that many people have probably heard about before.

Before I get to that point I want to reflect on how selfish I have been this past year. I remember that I specifically told myself that I was going to do what pleases me. It occurred a couple months after my fiance moved away and really had lost my best friend. Nothing against the friends I still had, I just felt that a piece of me had left my body. Like someone had come and surgically removed my heart while I was sleeping in the middle of the night.

The year of selfishness began with the idea of me time. Me time was going to be a time where I wanted to do things that benefited me. What it turned out to be was a time to waste time. The idea was to workout and get buff and fit for my future wife, fall into a deeper relationship with Christ (by the way He doesn't dig selfishness, ironically), and prepare for my departure from my hometown, but it turned into procrastination and a ton of television watching.

I turned down a lot of responsibilities that I had at my church. Two main reasons I quit was that I could not handle the politics(for lack of a better word) and I was just not fully committed. I even had some anger. So to accomplish the me time, I quit the leadership team I was on (which was probably good because Christ was not my leader at that point) and decided to eat, sleep, play basketball and sit in the back of the room at church.

It was almost as if I was preparing myself for departure but I was going about it all wrong. I would definitely change some things from my past, but as I have learned now and am going to learn, they all happened for a reason.

Joy has been scarce this past year. It has felt like Hailey's comet, here one minute gone the next and it won't be back until who knows when. As this summer has progressed I have felt a sense of God touching me. He is reaching down and comforting me. Why? I do not know. I am not doing anything different as far as I know. I really think it is His timing. Maybe He is a fed up father that is tired of watching his son fall off the bike and wants to help. He is telling me I can either put the training wheels back on the bike and be safe or I can leave them off and live at a trusting level. Quitting is not an option, which is good but at the same time means the degree of difficulty will probably rise.

It is funny how the steps of manhood could come down to riding a bike. At that age you are not cool if you ride training wheels, but if your good you could probably make it look cool, a least for a little while. The truth is with the safety of training wheels come limits. How many mountain bikers have you seen with training wheels? And the guys from Jackass do not count. God wants us all to drop our safety nets and our selfishness. He wants me to be a man that will ride his two wheel bike anywhere and trust Him when I fall. Once we choose to get on that bike we are not set for glory. It takes hard work and not just any man can survive the journey, especially alone. Help and guidance will be given from the Father.

Earlier when I said that I wanted to be a different man, one that many people have heard about, I was talking about Jesus. God wants our actions to be Christ-like, which from what I have learned so far is that, like Christ, I should be selfless.

So as new milestones approach in my life I am going to try to find that manhood or more importantly the Christ-hood and hold on to those handle bars tight because it will be a bumpy ride.

END

Just a quick update: I love my wife, I love my Savior and I strive to pray for guidance and trust in my Him. Right now my bike is currently riding over the bumps of marriage and new surroundings.I thank God for watching over my wife and I and my family and friends.

I want to leave with this passage I came across the other day that always provides me with encouragement.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 (New International Version)

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Sloth Salesman

As the beads of sweat froze on the back of my neck from the cooling vent that had kicked on for the fifteenth time in the last twenty minutes I realized I am not a salesman. It wasn't the uncomfortable mechanically disable office chair or the lack luster location of my desk, it was my inner sloth.

I had started a new sales job, the first ever in my job history, and was optimistic about all the new experiences I would come across and the variety of skills I would learn. Three days later, I was desperate to get out.

The sweat that had been running down my neck and staining my shirts over the past few days were the result of my nerves. Not nerves of confusion or lack of knowledge, but the thought that I was a sloth in a pack of cheetahs. As for the cooling vent that froze my beads of sweat, well that was just the result of a poor location for my office desk.

When I say that I am a sloth it does not mean that I am a slow learner. I know how to pick things up pretty quick. To make a sale in this cheetah environment you have to strike as many clients as fast as possible in a short amount of time and in those short strikes you need "dollars." It is all about contacts and money.

The part that I loved about the job was the contacting part, but the money part got in the way for me. I had the idea in my head that if a client "doesn't make dollars, it doesn't make cents." This is the exact opposite of how my mind works.

I know the value of money, especially in these economic times and especially since I am a newly married man at the age of 22, but I felt my inner sloth speaking to me.

The sloth in me might be describe as my laziness, but in this instance it was my gut feeling that this was a mistake. I couldn't picture myself asking for money from people that I had built a relationship with so how would I do that with complete strangers?

I respect all salespeople in this world. They definitely have their work cut out for them and as cheetahs they deserve every spot that they earn. I would be an albino cheetah if I stayed in sales.

I am a sloth. The animal often referred to as a sleeper, an eater and dirty. For those that know me the sleeping and eating parts are true. As for being dirty, I try to groom myself regularly.

The dirt in my life comes from the messes that I encounter day-to-day. The foolish mistakes, the aggravating situations, the sadness of death and tragedy and in this instance the loss of a job with great benefits. Nobody can avoid this filth, it just happens.

So as I encountered this big dirt clod of a job that was thrown in my face, I find myself feeling a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The worry of unemployment hasn't fully settled in quite yet, but I am grateful for this experience.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance" (James 1:2-3). So I am going to trust the inner sloth that God has given me and find out where He wants me in life and in a career. Hopefully it is a job far away from hyper active cooling vents and mechanically disabled office chairs.

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